Behind the writing of "Hope"
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"But the movement proved
only to be a squirrel getting
ready to hop the fence."
My darling Shoo-Fly:
Has it really been a year since we sat together? Sometimes it
seems like only yesterday...
yet other times it seems so long ago.
I am gradually realizing Shoo that you will not be there when I
look out for you.
But how difficult is the word "never" for the heart to
comprehend.
So often I look out my window and still think I see you there,
as two blades of sun-dried
grass suddenly appear to be the ears of a rabbit crouching along
the back fence;
or the old root of the evergreen tree that has risen slightly above
the ground will look exactly like a small brown cottontail lying
in the shade of the branches.
And so often at night,
the shadows cast between the trees
appear to be a rabbit,
dancing in the moonlight.
How I miss you my beloved friend!
Once I saw movement back by the garden fence
and I thought...
just for a moment...
that you had come back to me.
A mistake had been made on that Mother's Day last May!
The bunny lying so still in the neighbor's yard had not been you
but another.
But in running out the door on the wings of hope I was soon to
discover
that the movement proved only to be a squirrel preparing to hop
the fence...
and the two blades of sun-dried grass really were two blades of
sun-dried grass
and not the ears of a rabbit crouching along the fence...
and the risen root of the evergreen tree
was no more than that
just a risen root
and not a small brown cottontail lying in the shade.
Sitting down on the step
looking at only my own lonely shadow
I wondered.
One day will I look out my window and really see you there?
Will we sit together then as in time ago,
sharing treats and apples
and watching for our star?
My darling Shoo
each time I look out my window
I can only hope that this is so.
Written: April 2000